Nissan XTerra Forum banner

1 - 20 of 26 Posts

·
Sage Mentor/Moderator
Joined
·
12,216 Posts
My X's exacting care regimen requires that:

1. The vehical be thoroughly rinsed with a specially selected combination of the finest migratory guano, imported Ohio River Valley Acid Rain, and a marinade of colorful tannic acid laden foliage.

2. Perfectly ripened acorns, lovingly dropped from magnificent old growth oaks, are used to gently dislodge the mounds of fine migratory guano and colorful tannic acid laden foliage not lifted by the pitter patter of specially prepared and imported Ohio River Valley Acid Rain.

3. Once lovingly pampered by the above beauty treatment, the clay and rich top soil, combined with the finest acidic Pine Barens detritus slurry, is provided for repeated luxurious dipping until the X is fully relaxed and ready for its coniferous rub down.

4. After a vigorous rub down with a variety of exclusive indigenous conifer branches that work the luxurious mixture of lovingly applied beauty treatments deep into the iron underlying the surface paint of the X's pampered skin, the X is allowed to luxuriate in a shower of ultraviolet radiation provided by a nearby star...this cosmic cosmetic treatment gently bakes the applied beauty treatment deep into the pores of the X, and helps to provide deep, luxurious oxidation.

5. This profoundly pampered X is then allowed to rest and relax until the next treatment regimen is commenced.

:D
 

·
Sage Mentor/Moderator
Joined
·
12,216 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
739 Posts
:cool-big:

I clean the tires with the blood of a ninja... the paint is waxed precariously with the semen of the devil... and the windows sparkle with afterbirth of the virgin mary...
After painting that mental picture, puke almost surfaced the top of my esophagus.
[url=http://www.gifmix.net/smileys/][/URL]
 

·
Sage Mentor/Moderator
Joined
·
12,216 Posts
:cool-big:

I clean the tires with the blood of a ninja... the paint is waxed precariously with the semen of the devil... and the windows sparkle with afterbirth of the virgin mary...
I'm just stuck on trying to figure out how one waxes precariously....
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,237 Posts
i just lay out some knuckle-children and go to work
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,237 Posts
i heard that under chuck norriss' beard, there isn't a chin, only another fist.
 
1 - 20 of 26 Posts
Top